Saturday, October 23

Tears of the heart


When you are hurt by someone you like,
The heart cries...

When you see a group of friends enjoying
and you look for your friends beside you
and find no one,
The heart cries even more...

When the person closes to you
doesn't understand you
and you don't feel like explaining yourself to them
The heart cries even more...

When strangers become friends,
and friends become strangers
The heart cries even more...

When someone you trust the most
Doubts you
The heart cries even more...

When the entire world turns against you
and you find no one by your side
The heart cries even more...

When someone who means the world to you
starts ignoring you
The heart cries even more...

When your best friend doesn't share
His feelings with you
The heart cries even more...

When someone you love, becomes
someone you loved
The heart cries even more...

When you smile in a situation
When your insides are crying
The heart cries even more...

When you want someone to understand this
and they treat it as a joke
The heart cries even more...

But when you have no one to share all
the thoughts, except
Stuffed Pillow and the darkness of night

The heart cries the Most...

Tuesday, November 10

Change

' So you think I have changed? No dude, I am still the same, same old me. You are meeting me like after centuries, how will you remember who I was? You were so hell bent on 'maintaining' no contact! Right!' bristled Sia

Adi handed Sia a cup of steaming foamy mocha, and commented, 'You didn't pass a remark when I said thank you for accompanying me to have coffee, why has Rishi given you too many flowers, and teddy and chocolates and thank you cards already, for you to be tired of them?'
He continued baiting her by saying, 'yes you have changed madame, why are you averse to the idea? You thought change was natural right, so why this irritation?, anyways hows your beloved Rishi?'

"Hmmmm, he's fine, busy with his work, as usual, nothing has changed much just the workload has increased' answered a smiling Sia. "Our marriage has been good for his career, he's doing well.'

"You know I have already added three sachets of sugar to my espresso, slurped it, spilled it, and made tatters out of the issues, and you haven't once yelled at me. By the way, Did I tell you Adya is coming to town soon?' continued Adi

Hey! That's awesome man! When she coming? So I'd get to meet Mrs. Aditya Shergill finally!!!

'Mrs Adya Agarwal Shergill. She told your concept of your individual identity, with your joint identity :P'

'I still write Sia Singh.'

'Hey Sia, see there that girls standing next to the chocolate fountain, slurping away the chocolate! Reminds me so much of you! Want to try it out?'

'Of course! I haven't licked chocolate of a strawberry in like ages!!!!!!!!'

Of Sia rushed towards the fountain, Adi observed how different her walk was right now. When he'd met her an hour back at Lifestyle, she was a picture of poise, serenity and strength, yet her eyes were unexcited, her body language was monotonous and her smile plastic. It wasn't that Sia who'd even shop for his socks in the most excited manner, smile at every salesperson, rush to every chocolate fountain store, messaging people while shopping, calling or complaining to people, how they forgot her. That was Sia Lodha, this was Sia Singh.

' What your husbands still a miser?' commented Adi

'He never was Adi.'

'He could never be Adi, I am the only one, you know that.'

Sticking her tongue out, 'He never was a miser Adi, and he is the only Rishi.'

Sia linked her hand in his, and they went to Costa coffee again. 'Lets sit in that corner.'

'Why did you call Rishi a miser?' asked Sia

'He hasn't called you or messaged you in like last 4 hours. Has he changed?'
Sia shrugged, 'He never did call or message even then, it's okay.'

'What crap are you giving me? When Adya had told you I never call or message, you had bitten my head off, when I told you we men are like that, you were the one who told me, that it doesn't matter what others are like, you are Adi, and just one Adi, learn to treat your girl better, if you can't find time for her, then leave her, she's not gonna be your wall flower. It was you who had leaped out of the chair, and said if you got a Man like that, you'd move on, because if he couldn't find time to talk to you, meant he wasn't interested! Phew! I still remember the 30 minute long lecture at Underground, in front of 500 people! and you forgot! Disgusting memory. Chi.'

With a silent smile Sia said, 'times change Adi, people change with time, its either change or break.'

Adi went to her gave her a hug, they spent the next two hours sitting silently, with her head resting on his shoulders.

'I have to go now Mr. Aditya, hubby about to come home! I'll wait for you and Adya tomorrow at lunch and you'd better not be late, I hate late comers.' rushed Sia collecting her bags and kissing Adi on his cheek.

---------------------------------------------------------------

'Rishi, I met Adi today, he thinks I have changed...' started Sia,

Cutting her out Rishi said, not glancing up from is laptop, 'of course not dear, you are still my understanding, space respecting girl.'

... even I think I have changed...' Sia left the room.

Wednesday, May 13

Love Letter


My Dear ----------

Today I am torn between your need of wanting me to be there with you, and my pain of realising my demeanor has left you wanting more. As the case seems I have never left your side, I have always, will always be there for you. it's not that I have an option not to, but I chose not to have an option. My Love for you was a reason, my respect for you was the reason's reason.

You have held yourself high in all trying and testing times, weakened only when you feared loosing me, this strength is what I derived my strength from. How can I leave your side, when it's the side I draw sight from, I draw sense from. How could I not be on your side when trials and tribulations hit you on your face, when I am the one to be protecting your beutiful face from scars and pains. How could I not be on your side, when you would have not been in the mess that you are, had I not been on your side?

The love as we so call it, doesn't have a definition, I don't know why I love you, I don't know what is Love, if I were to be asked whether I loved you, I'd say yes, but would I mean it, I don't know. All I know is that I want to spend all my waking moments with you, I want to be the pain in your life, I want to be the balm to it too. I want you to be the guiding light in my life, even if you loose the way and not ask for directions. I want you to be the touch I feel, even though I brand you as insensitive. I want you to be my fashion critic, even though I think your dressing sense would scare off Govinda. I want you to be my smile, even though the tears are given by you.

The first thought that strikes me when I do something, is not whether God would approve, or my family would pat me on my ack, but whether you'd nod your head in approval and support. The first thought that strikes me when I am mean, or I bitch is whether you'd say that you are disappointed.
I am by your side because I need you, like I need my independence, like I need to communicate, like I need to read, like I need to express, like I want to live.

So don't ever ask me to be there, I am already there...

Love
again the cliché :)

Yours Forever..


Sunday, May 3

Come Back to Me


With bated breath
I wait for you,

The lights dim my eye
My body crippled with desire.
My senses all dimmed,
My underbelly on fire.

I have waited long,
For that touch
or that song,

The porcelain skin you caressed
Baked to clay
The Brown locks you cajoled
Aged to Gray.

When I had you,
I loved you
But it was never enough.
Your beauty enchanted me,
Your rhythms mesmerised me,
Your touch emboldened me,
Your smell aroused me,
But it was never enough.

You came into my life,
Like a season out of time,
You swept me off my feet,
The poetry of it all
Skipped many a beat.

I took you as mine,
your love divine,
but the feelings didn't last
because a child grows up
and wants a different treat.

You felt my withdrawal
and made a retreat,
leaving me to face the heat.

The heat of the desire,
The smell of your skin
The pulse of my beat,
The  need to be akin

Your absence extinguished that light
The candle wept itself to death.
The wick refused to catch fire
And the doll melted away...

Your beauty was all understated
It was the Rose without the scent
Your virtue was the fragrance
My love for you was the Colour

It wasn't your beauty which enthralled me,
that was just my body.
It wasn't your virtue that captured me,
that was just my ethics.
It wasn't your smell that aroused me,
It was an artificial turn on.
It wasn't your eyes that arrested me,
that was just my vision.

The compelling need,
The burning desire,
The dimmed senses,
The jaded heart,
The broken Smiles,
The perennial tears,
The aftermath of your retreat,
The longing and never loving
Arises from what made our love so strong.

Arises From your pure heart,
that was washed with the morning dew,
nourished by the mountain rains,
protected by the Goddess of sea,
trusted by me.

So come back to me
and let the sun loose its heat
let the leafs quench their thirst
let peasants smile
let mountains divide
let oceans be wide,
let me be yours,
forever yours.

For I love You
and I always will

Come back to me.
Come back to me...