Its the Right choice baby!!!

It’s the right choice baby…

Interesting catchline from Pepsi now that I sit and think about the current situation I am in, and my life… Will we ever know whats the right choice, or in fact whats our choice? Nah… I don’t think so.. We are always dictated by so many forces and extremes in life that our decision is always a merger or a marriage between the wisdom of world and worldly pleasure, never do we actually or have we actually considered or made a choice by our wisdom and pleasures union… Each of our decision is at some level aimed to bring peace with some notions, standards or desires of the world and the society… Which I wouldn’t say is wrong, but then that means living your life like the one and sundry, no difference between you and your beloved half, or you or your friendly neighbour, or the hostile landlord… It’s like reading a Mills and Boon book, you can predict the end, the names in all the books are similar, the challenges the characters go through are always a dime and a dozen, just the settings change, the places change, the names change (only to be repeated in some other series)… At the end its always happy ever after for the two people in question, and we get inspired and assume our playing in the puppet galleries of the world has made us happily ever after…

Are you happy, contented or satisfied? Am I? We think so, but then why the seeds of doubt at the time of dusk? Why the feeling of discontentment in your sleep, why the lack of adrenalin and excitement when the dawn breaks, why the feeling of reaching out and hugging somebody when we feel alone, why the continuous frenzied activity and tiredness when satisfaction or happiness brings with themselves a blanket of peace and contentment?

These questions were raised in the darkest corners of my mind a few days back when I was having a conversation with a friend of mine, and a guide of mine… My friend always told me my studying Chartered Accountancy- a drudgery subject, didn’t suit me much, but nevertheless since I (thought) Wanted to do it, that person was all motivational and the works… But one fine day on a long session of exchange of idea and gossip, I happened to tell him that when I was in the 10^th standard, my Dramatics or Theater sir was convinced that the future for me lies in being a dramatization, and that I would make an immensely gifted director, and I should try for drama courses after class 12… Even though it came from one of the most successful and respected theater personalities of Calcutta, I had just laughed it off, and never even considered it… (ya ya I know the heights of arrogance or should I say stupidity of mine…). My friend was speechless for a few moments and then reacted as if I had lost my mind and wits to have if not pursued the choice, but then at least given it a serious thought… It was then when we started discussing the so called irony of my ‘right choice’ and how I acted like a total kid (read baby for the heck of the tagline) while making a career choice. Then a conversation with another friend, philosopher and guide made me actually sit and think what were my strength, my dreams and passion… (Yikes this is also a topic for my speech on Monday!!!!!!!!) and I realised I could tabulate a list of careers I could make, I wanted to make, people thought was ideal for me, and I am doing something, which ironically, no one, absolutely no one in the world saw me doing, or thought was my genre or sphere….

Let me first make a list of them and why people think that could be a career choice for me…

1# The first being what I have already discussed- A Director and direct some plays… Sir’s logic was that I give so much attention to detail, and make the story more closer to real life by setting the story with impulsive and spontaneous reactions and action… At that time I hadn’t understood a word, I never even considered it because at that time I was set on doing cardiology, so I had laughed it off…

2# Cardiology/ Doctor- My family doctor is convinced that I have ruined my life acting to the demands of my ‘conservative marwari business mind’ and not taking up medicine, and all this why? Just because I could measure blood pressure, or take pulse rates, or check the heart beats for their normality or take an ECG test… and a little more knick knacks…??!!?? Well I had wanted to do cardiology probably all my life, but when I wasn’t allowed it was taken in a positive spirit by me…

3# Then came my friends suggestion that I take up psychology… Their reasons were that I ‘understood human mind and its complexities’ so well, that I should probably make it my bread and work as a human resource head for my butter, if not vice-versa… Till Date a lot of people are convinced that I’d be the perfect counselor…( God! This one was actually funny… because for one I am not mature enough myself, and two me and understanding? Since when???)

4# Then people were convinced that since I wasn’t studying medicine, I’d be studying political science, and then take up law and specialise in criminal…( Hello!! Lawyer? Me why?) Oh Ido! For the simple reason you can convince a person dying that it’s the best thing that could happen (eeeks! I hate this analogy) and your political mind helps o second guess every thing, you are so cautious and you clear your tracks so well that ou can prove any crime…( Guys was that intended to be a praise??)

The next two are actually close to my heart, These are something I’d always wanted to do but couldn’t, which doesn’t go to say wouldn’t…

5# Then I decided that fine I’ll do Mass-communication now, and study journalism… The story of people not expecting or wanting or suggesting I would make writing as a career dates back to my school… Class IV if my memory doesn’t fail me, was when my class teacher called up mom to school and asked her to read the paragraphs I wrote, or the sentences I constructed, she was sure that one day she’d be proud to have a writer like me… Surprisingly I didn’t remember this until yesterday (ya ya one incident even I am allowed to forget..!!!) till I met that teacher of mine somewhere… and she asked me do u still write…!!! Then I used to write poems till I was 12 or 13, but then I gave it all up, cause it took too much of my computer time…( well guilty as charged, I have been a pc addict since then…) Then I started writing again at 17 or 18, but this time it was a medium of expression and defiance… My views were a little less appreciated or sought at places, so I captured them and formed them in words… Then since last year I started writing a blog… I still don’t really believe I write well, though I have so many of you contradicting that for me, but though I’d never planned to be serious about it, now I do give it a thought… (the thanks for the motivation will go individually J )

6# I have discussed this once before- Cooking… Its not just a hobby, it’s a passion for me.. My mom will claim that I was an L'Enfant Terrible in the kitchen, I used to give my shot at cooking as early as 4 or 5… The irony is that I never taste what I cook… :D (you people are there for me to food poison!!!) but for me food is the best analgesic for all troubled souls, because when you sit with good food, you don’t think about your problems any more, you are not lonely anymore cause food is your company, you take delight in every taste that explode on your buds, and that moment of sheer happiness on someones face is priceless for me… So making my restaurant is not about the money, its about that careless smile… :) Hopefully I’ll get you guys to come to it soon… :D (as in soon is in the next 20 years ;) )

The other Irony of my life is that I am doing something no body wanted, expected or suggested I do and would be good at and that’s Chartered Accountancy… It was a fancy of my family that I am pursuing…

So coming back after such a lengthy discussion, you can never say whats the right choice baby!! Because there are no right or wrong choices, its just guided with expectations…

:)

Relations

' Mummy, mummmy , mummmmmyy where are you?'

"Coming coming doll, what happened? How was your day at school sweetheart?"

'It was good, but mummy I am confused, switch of your cell phone and come on our swing and answer my question.'

"Huh!?!"

'All the uncle aunties and papas keep calling you all the time, they always talk in our talking time.'

"Papas??? "

'Oh OH no no one papa only, P-A-P-A papa.'

Smiling "Ok dear, let us go"

Mumma, mumma, today in school teacher taught us how to make a card....'

"Show Show!" (Shikha shows the card) "ooooo pretty you made it?"

irritated ' offo mumma, I am not telling you about the card, listen to me nah!'

"Ok ok sorry beta, say.."

" So ma'am told us that we can also give the cards to our relatives. When I asked her what does relative mean she told me people with whom we have relations that means our family, mummy, papa, grandpa, auntie, brother... Mumma what does relation mean then?"

Stumped, Rhea remains silent for a few moments, then gathers her wits to say,

" Baby relation means The connection of people by blood or marriage, or The way in which one person or thing is connected with another: the relation of parent to child. See I am married to your papa so your grandma becomes my relative, or Nitish uncle, and Shreya Mami become papa's relative. Similarly you are our daughter, which means you have the same blood as us so you also become their relatives..."

interrupting

'So mumma, that means even you and papa are relatives..."

Totally answer less Rhea says, " No dear we are no, when you grow older you'll understand what does relation and relatives mean, for now remember all your aunts and uncles and their family is your relatives... Okay princess? Chalo now lets go and have strawberry Milk shake..."


This conversation between a mom and her daughter got me thinking, what exactly does a relation mean to us? Is it what Rhea told her daughter? Am not too sure...

Looking around us I don't see people who still believe in that definition... In fact relations are no more just blood ties or ties formed due to marriages.. In fact my tongue firmly in place, I'd dare say that blood ties are no more the relations people care for anymore... Some do, some are not very close or comfortable in them anymore. They are their own person.

So coming back hat are relations and what do they mean to 20-30-40 year old?

Well the first thing that strikes me is the Dictionary meaning modified according to today's time :

Relations:

1. The mutual dealings or connections of persons, groups, or nations in social, business, or diplomatic matters.
2. Sexual in nature.
   

We all meet people, deal with them, connect to them, some connections and dealings are comfortable and some are not... But the very moment the connection is made the relation is thus formed. That defines a basic relation... agreed to it... But again is that it? Can u define all your relations this way? Can you express all relations in groups of family and business. Is it that only? Is this the depth of a relation and how you express it? I don't think so...

There are some people who come very close to you. They matter to you in a lot of regards. Their opinion counts, their presence complete you. They are not only the pillars of your emotional support and well being, but they also are the hand that rocks your cradle, you never realise the worth of them because you have never been without them... Just like you can feel the warmth only after you have been cold, these people give you that warmth and term is as friendship.

Some of us do manage not to realise their worth over time.. We either don't realise their presence in our lives or by how much they affect us. Its only after a while when we fall and we see those people coming from behind and picking us up and pretending nothing happened do we realise this relation. Yet we can't define it and we simply name it as friends.

There are some relations which with time keep getting better and deeper. You don't know when they become your need from want. You don't know when you want to fight the whole world rather than have somebody make them drop a tear- and then fight them. There are times when you go out of your way fro them, change your course just to see them smile. There are times when they don not even cry but you feel the pain for them... The times when silence talks and words listen. Yet this is also the relation where you don't know whether you are ready to spend your entire life with them, to make it destined. There are times when you don't know whether it is just the feelings being friends, or s it the next dearest relation-love or is it just something unique or special. I can't define this either.

Then comes the people whom you love. They are your alter ego. They never feel different from what you are.
These relations are the ones which make u dance when no music is being played, sing when your singing scares the rats away. Allows you to make compromises when you term them as adjustment. The relation make the world seem less lonelier and empty. It makes you wonder whether the days you have spent earlier were as happy as they seemed. But I can't express this relation... This just wants to make you feel, because even if you close your eyes a movie is playing in your eyes....

Now come the pivotal question? Where do these relations lead to, from what I started saying... Simply that you never know how or where a relation leads to... It determines its own course...

Shikha's last question to her mom was " Momma can a relation ever end?"

To which Rhea replied, 'No dear it never does, a relation changes name, closeness, and togetherness, but the feeling doesn't die.'


As somebody rightfully said: Relations are like matter and questions can be changed from one level of closeness to another but even death cannot destroy or answer this question.

So why does the world ask us to define them?

Love me Forever...

Arms wide open
I wait for you
Come drown me
With:
Your caressing touches
The enveloping love
Lets mingle as one
No one to see
When ends you and begins me...


Let your breath mingle with mine,
The sweet smell of ecstasy
Seems just so divine...
The rhythm of your beats
Take me over
Let Serenity, togetherness and security
Of your presence
Get embedded in my heart
for the long nights and day...


You've emboldened me
to ford that mountain
Lets rise the peak
For you've made me feel your presence
The mark of your love
refuses to allay


So kiss me
Caress me
Make me yours
Like you are forever mine
Drive away every thought sane
Because feelings have no words
No boundaries
or Name
Just feel me
Like I feel you

Hug me and Make me stay
Rain, I feel you, see you stray....

A Friend Named Hope!!!

Thank You Rohit for doing this.... You don't know how much it meant to me... Its just more than special!!! :) :)

My first story from class 5...

It was one of those days for Margaret when everything went wrong, nothing worked her way. In fact things were so wrong that all her
friends, her teacher, her philosophers,guides were not there in whom she could confide.

What was that bad that no one was there who understood her? She came home tired from school and wondered ," Why. Oh! Why has God been so unfair to her?".

She was perched on a low stooping branch of the oak tree,thinking why had God made her a handicap? A handicap with one leg
smaller than the other and unusually slim frame. For a few years when she was home, her parents treated her as a normal child, cherished special, wanted and the best. Not making her realize that she was different from any other kid. But all good things must end
someday. The girl had to be educated, had thought the hapless parents, hence she was sent to school.

There she was in school either being teased by her classmates as a cripple or a ghost. She was intimidated and taunted.She ran away from them to the safe and loving arms of her parents. Her parents came home only to hear the distress of their daughter. Her
mother told her to confide in a friend, a friend who would give her a hand to walk, a shoulder to cry, to inspire her, to lead her,
who would exclusively be hear friend. The friend was HOPE!!

Margaret did not believe her mom but wanted a friend badly, so she thought of confiding in hope. Her mom told her that HOPE was from a different planet. So, she would teach Margaret the language and then Margaret could converse in that language.

So, every time Margaret was upset, She would go to her mom and ask her to call hope. Whatever problem Margaret had, her mom would show her a brighter side and tell her to believe in herself. She would tell her fictional stories of warrior princess or seemingly real
story of people to inspire her. Slowly Margaret was told that she didn't need her mom to talk to hope, she could do so herself now. This was when mom realized that Margaret didn't get intimidated by the school bully's anymore.

Margaret was now encouraged to lead her life like a normal kid with self-determination and belief. She knew that whatever the world may say, she was as good as the rest and had something in her to break the crowd clutter. She was taken to the hospital where a
false metal foot was attached to her lower limb which now enabled her to walk properly, even though she could not dance or swim.

With every passing grade Margaret started confiding more and more in Hope. She never did anything without hope As she grew older,
her parents started getting worried about her attachment to a fictitious friend, yet seeing her progress, they didn't tell her anything.

Surprisingly every time she confided in HOPE, she felt courageous and strong enough to face the world and with that grew a determination to join regular school from the special-ed school she was going to. With a lot of effort and determination to succeed,
she managed to join a regular 'normal' school. A normal school had compulsory gym classes. Her gym teacher showed sympathy
towards her, and asked her to sit with her and watch the other students. Then she would help her with few exercises which strengthened her. But Margaret was told by HOPE that sympathy was the worst thing in the life. So, in order to denounce sympathy
she asked hope to give her an opportunity.

God listened to her conversation and granted her wish. One week later there was an announcement in the school about a racing competition to be held in the school grounds and all were free to participate.

Margaret went to her gym teacher and gave in her name. The gym teacher though a little surprised didn't say anything and egged her
on by saying she will have to work hard but can do it. She and her friend HOPE then practised running day in and day out after school in the adjacent park to her work. She practiced hard not letting anybody know of her plan of actions.
Her parents started dropping her hints that hope will now have to go to other people also. His parents were shifting, Margaret accepted all this with panache as she was confident her hope wouldn't leave her and go and if he went he would always be her friend.
Then came the first big day of her life. The day of the race. Margaret along with her parents in the crowd came to the race. Off went
the whistle and along went Margaret. Margaret because of her handicap wanted to give up, but her friend HOPE was telling in her ears : 'GO ON! GO ON!'.
The others finished the gap and were nearing the finishing line, when Margaret was still mid-way. There was a resounding silence . Margaret was about to give up when to her surprise as soon as she slowed down people started cheering her. She looked around and everyone were on their feet cheering her wanting her to go ahead. The people who she thought taunted her or jeered her like in the special-ed school were waiting before the finishing line for her to come and join them and amongst them was their friend HOPE.
She ran and ran and ran to embrace her long due happiness. To the feeling of love, warmth and caring world of people whom she
called friends. She joined her friends and they finished the race together.
And she felt her first serious lesson. HOPE was her in her.
An year later when the race was over and result of her examination was out she had topped. She achieved a lot - friends, family''s love, philosopher, guide, most of all self-belief and positive thinking!! All this just because she had a friend named HOPE !!