Saturday, August 9


With the amount of reading I've covered, I've come across various dedications by authors, and believe me, I've skipped them all, I have never related to the emotion of dedications by an author, i.e. till today, when I sit down to write this post.

This one's for you Rhea, for making me want to love someone as immensely, deeply that you do, for being the fighter you are, and for being the angel you'll always be. I am alive today, and I owe it to you, we know that, and I'll miss you forever, but I haven't lost you, you're here deep in my heart, embedded in my soul.

Also, this one's only for you Gunjan, for I am writing this because of you, as this is the only birthday gift I could think of for someone who has everything. Also, thank you accepting me as one of your own. I promise to uphold and cherish this place.

Pardon the colors of this post, the colors are all bright, like Rhea, like her choices, her favorites.


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Date:- 15 June 2014
Venue:-  The Palladium Hotel, Mumbai
Occasion :- The 4th wedding anniversary of Mr and Mrs Arthath Agarwal.

"Excuse me Ma'm, you need to get a body-scan done before you enter. We are sorry for the inconvenience, but it's a mandatory security guideline now."

Myra steps into the security rooms, raises her arms to be frisked, all the while staring at the lobby of the hotel.

It's a breathtaking sight. Done up in ornate golden hues, the high dome structures like the ones at the Dome Church Paris, are intricately carved with flowers like Claude Monet's Water Lilies. The furniture - ornate yet not opulent, classic yet not ancient, the lines all so elegant yet so simple. But it's not just the decor that enchants her, it's the feel. The crimson of the furniture blends with the golden hues to make it seem like the sun at dawn. Rising high on the horizon, wanting to break the night's monotony into splendid glory.  The vast area's doesn't seem pressing, it seems more like a close-knit family living together with the same set of values, traditions, yet so different as the rest. It captivated her, it awed her, it and her presence there.

Myra slowly walked towards the ballroom, pausing at the entrance, overwhelmed with the spectacle. For this hall was decked up in all the finery, celebrating a love between a couple who are said to be cupids excess, his biases. The reality was as distant as the two poles.

Soon she sensed a frisson down her back.Her body knew and reacted immediately. The back of her neck prickled in warning. Her stomach tensed. Her muscles clenched tight in automatic response. She stopped pretending to gaze at the bold colors and people before her and let her eyes drift closed to ward off the memories. And the pain—so much pain. 

But it was all in the past. It was time to look forward to today, to the man standing across the room,
Myra's heart jolted to see the tall figure she’d spotted leaning against the wall watching the dancing. Watching her.

Her heart flipped over to see him so groomed and utterly gorgeous in a snazzy pinstriped suit, the top buttons of his crisp blue shirt undone, exposing the top of his broad chest and the pendant he wore around his neck. The one with her photograph in it.


Arthath  walked over to her.  "You look hot Mrs. Agarwal."

'No I don't' Mr. Agarwal, I look like a bloated balloon, I don't know how you talked me into this entire celebration, when am eight months along and bloated up like a ball?' cried Myra with a down turned mouth.

"I really thought that if you'd not show up, what excuse I'd concoct this time around?"

' I did consider running away, but going through the same motions of a budget hotel, being looked down as a pregnant hooker, train tickets that don't get confirmed, travelling by the door at night, looking for a cheap accommodation in Ahmedabad, it didn't appeal, especially when the appeal is of so much money and um richness around.' Said Myra with a straight face.

Even though she was joking, a flash of vulnerability surprised her. She knew he wouldn't hurt her, wouldn't humiliate her anymore. But the fears still lingered. She suppressed it.

Arthath was rendered deep in shock for a moment. He loathed himself. But then he saw the teasing glint in Myra's eyes, and relaxed. He picked her up and twirled her. "Am sorry Mrs. Agarwal, but I have bought you for life. Didn't you read the fine print of the contract you signed 4 years back? So you could kiss me now , and that’ll be the end of it. If you run I will not come look for you, I will not pursue you. And if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will make you mine. But I will not let you run."

'Which movie was that?' teased Myra

"Taken" said Arthath in a grin that melted the cold away...

And Myra stood on her toes to kiss him.

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Thursday, July 28

Dear Roads take me home..


It's a lonely path I walk upon,
Don't ask me where to
or where from;

I don't know my destination,
I don't know my base,
I don't know my path
I know it wasn't so silent before

Some walked alongside a while,
Some walked a full mile
Some talked about the distance..

The day walked by me my shadow,
Passing us were men and women
some with words, some only smiles
I wasn't alone...

When night falls
its stillness whispers to me,
That I was alone,
for all who walked and talked
reached there spaces and places,
and the ghosts of reality lurked behind
and crept on me,
that even my shadow left me in a bind

I thought of God,
and I thought and his men
I thought of life,
And I thought some more then..

Was my journey a sham or lie
Or an intoxicated figment
or a sensitized cry...

I could never know
For whenever reality hit
He brought a new day
A new shadow
A new new drifter,
and the night lurked at bay...

It's a lonely path I walk upon,
Don't ask me where to
or where from;

Saturday, October 23

Tears of the heart


When you are hurt by someone you like,
The heart cries...

When you see a group of friends enjoying
and you look for your friends beside you
and find no one,
The heart cries even more...

When the person closes to you
doesn't understand you
and you don't feel like explaining yourself to them
The heart cries even more...

When strangers become friends,
and friends become strangers
The heart cries even more...

When someone you trust the most
Doubts you
The heart cries even more...

When the entire world turns against you
and you find no one by your side
The heart cries even more...

When someone who means the world to you
starts ignoring you
The heart cries even more...

When your best friend doesn't share
His feelings with you
The heart cries even more...

When someone you love, becomes
someone you loved
The heart cries even more...

When you smile in a situation
When your insides are crying
The heart cries even more...

When you want someone to understand this
and they treat it as a joke
The heart cries even more...

But when you have no one to share all
the thoughts, except
Stuffed Pillow and the darkness of night

The heart cries the Most...

Tuesday, November 10

Change

' So you think I have changed? No dude, I am still the same, same old me. You are meeting me like after centuries, how will you remember who I was? You were so hell bent on 'maintaining' no contact! Right!' bristled Sia

Adi handed Sia a cup of steaming foamy mocha, and commented, 'You didn't pass a remark when I said thank you for accompanying me to have coffee, why has Rishi given you too many flowers, and teddy and chocolates and thank you cards already, for you to be tired of them?'
He continued baiting her by saying, 'yes you have changed madame, why are you averse to the idea? You thought change was natural right, so why this irritation?, anyways hows your beloved Rishi?'

"Hmmmm, he's fine, busy with his work, as usual, nothing has changed much just the workload has increased' answered a smiling Sia. "Our marriage has been good for his career, he's doing well.'

"You know I have already added three sachets of sugar to my espresso, slurped it, spilled it, and made tatters out of the issues, and you haven't once yelled at me. By the way, Did I tell you Adya is coming to town soon?' continued Adi

Hey! That's awesome man! When she coming? So I'd get to meet Mrs. Aditya Shergill finally!!!

'Mrs Adya Agarwal Shergill. She told your concept of your individual identity, with your joint identity :P'

'I still write Sia Singh.'

'Hey Sia, see there that girls standing next to the chocolate fountain, slurping away the chocolate! Reminds me so much of you! Want to try it out?'

'Of course! I haven't licked chocolate of a strawberry in like ages!!!!!!!!'

Of Sia rushed towards the fountain, Adi observed how different her walk was right now. When he'd met her an hour back at Lifestyle, she was a picture of poise, serenity and strength, yet her eyes were unexcited, her body language was monotonous and her smile plastic. It wasn't that Sia who'd even shop for his socks in the most excited manner, smile at every salesperson, rush to every chocolate fountain store, messaging people while shopping, calling or complaining to people, how they forgot her. That was Sia Lodha, this was Sia Singh.

' What your husbands still a miser?' commented Adi

'He never was Adi.'

'He could never be Adi, I am the only one, you know that.'

Sticking her tongue out, 'He never was a miser Adi, and he is the only Rishi.'

Sia linked her hand in his, and they went to Costa coffee again. 'Lets sit in that corner.'

'Why did you call Rishi a miser?' asked Sia

'He hasn't called you or messaged you in like last 4 hours. Has he changed?'
Sia shrugged, 'He never did call or message even then, it's okay.'

'What crap are you giving me? When Adya had told you I never call or message, you had bitten my head off, when I told you we men are like that, you were the one who told me, that it doesn't matter what others are like, you are Adi, and just one Adi, learn to treat your girl better, if you can't find time for her, then leave her, she's not gonna be your wall flower. It was you who had leaped out of the chair, and said if you got a Man like that, you'd move on, because if he couldn't find time to talk to you, meant he wasn't interested! Phew! I still remember the 30 minute long lecture at Underground, in front of 500 people! and you forgot! Disgusting memory. Chi.'

With a silent smile Sia said, 'times change Adi, people change with time, its either change or break.'

Adi went to her gave her a hug, they spent the next two hours sitting silently, with her head resting on his shoulders.

'I have to go now Mr. Aditya, hubby about to come home! I'll wait for you and Adya tomorrow at lunch and you'd better not be late, I hate late comers.' rushed Sia collecting her bags and kissing Adi on his cheek.

---------------------------------------------------------------

'Rishi, I met Adi today, he thinks I have changed...' started Sia,

Cutting her out Rishi said, not glancing up from is laptop, 'of course not dear, you are still my understanding, space respecting girl.'

... even I think I have changed...' Sia left the room.