' Mummy, mummmy , mummmmmyy where are you?'
"Coming coming doll, what happened? How was your day at school sweetheart?"
'It was good, but mummy I am confused, switch of your cell phone and come on our swing and answer my question.'
'All the uncle aunties and papas keep calling you all the time, they always talk in our talking time.'
'Oh OH no no one papa only, P-A-P-A papa.'
Smiling "Ok dear, let us go"
Mumma, mumma, today in school teacher taught us how to make a card....'
"Show Show!" (Shikha shows the card) "ooooo pretty you made it?"
irritated ' offo mumma, I am not telling you about the card, listen to me nah!'
"Ok ok sorry beta, say.."
" So ma'am told us that we can also give the cards to our relatives. When I asked her what does relative mean she told me people with whom we have relations that means our family, mummy, papa, grandpa, auntie, brother... Mumma what does relation mean then?"
Stumped, Rhea remains silent for a few moments, then gathers her wits to say,
" Baby relation means The connection of people by blood or marriage, or The way in which one person or thing is connected with another: the relation of parent to child. See I am married to your papa so your grandma becomes my relative, or Nitish uncle, and Shreya Mami become papa's relative. Similarly you are our daughter, which means you have the same blood as us so you also become their relatives..."
'So mumma, that means even you and papa are relatives..."
Totally answer less Rhea says, " No dear we are no, when you grow older you'll understand what does relation and relatives mean, for now remember all your aunts and uncles and their family is your relatives... Okay princess? Chalo now lets go and have strawberry Milk shake..."
This conversation between a mom and her daughter got me thinking, what exactly does a relation mean to us? Is it what Rhea told her daughter? Am not too sure...
Looking around us I don't see people who still believe in that definition... In fact relations are no more just blood ties or ties formed due to marriages.. In fact my tongue firmly in place, I'd dare say that blood ties are no more the relations people care for anymore... Some do, some are not very close or comfortable in them anymore. They are their own person.
So coming back hat are relations and what do they mean to 20-30-40 year old?
Well the first thing that strikes me is the Dictionary meaning modified according to today's time :
- The mutual dealings or connections of persons, groups, or nations in social, business, or diplomatic matters.
- Sexual in nature.
We all meet people, deal with them, connect to them, some connections and dealings are comfortable and some are not... But the very moment the connection is made the relation is thus formed. That defines a basic relation... agreed to it... But again is that it? Can u define all your relations this way? Can you express all relations in groups of family and business. Is it that only? Is this the depth of a relation and how you express it? I don't think so...
There are some people who come very close to you. They matter to you in a lot of regards. Their opinion counts, their presence complete you. They are not only the pillars of your emotional support and well being, but they also are the hand that rocks your cradle, you never realise the worth of them because you have never been without them... Just like you can feel the warmth only after you have been cold, these people give you that warmth and term is as friendship.
Some of us do manage not to realise their worth over time.. We either don't realise their presence in our lives or by how much they affect us. Its only after a while when we fall and we see those people coming from behind and picking us up and pretending nothing happened do we realise this relation. Yet we can't define it and we simply name it as friends.
There are some relations which with time keep getting better and deeper. You don't know when they become your need from want. You don't know when you want to fight the whole world rather than have somebody make them drop a tear- and then fight them. There are times when you go out of your way fro them, change your course just to see them smile. There are times when they don not even cry but you feel the pain for them... The times when silence talks and words listen. Yet this is also the relation where you don't know whether you are ready to spend your entire life with them, to make it destined. There are times when you don't know whether it is just the feelings being friends, or s it the next dearest relation-love or is it just something unique or special. I can't define this either.
Then comes the people whom you love. They are your alter ego. They never feel different from what you are.
These relations are the ones which make u dance when no music is being played, sing when your singing scares the rats away. Allows you to make compromises when you term them as adjustment. The relation make the world seem less lonelier and empty. It makes you wonder whether the days you have spent earlier were as happy as they seemed. But I can't express this relation... This just wants to make you feel, because even if you close your eyes a movie is playing in your eyes....
Now come the pivotal question? Where do these relations lead to, from what I started saying... Simply that you never know how or where a relation leads to... It determines its own course...
Shikha's last question to her mom was " Momma can a relation ever end?"
To which Rhea replied, 'No dear it never does, a relation changes name, closeness, and togetherness, but the feeling doesn't die.'
As somebody rightfully said: Relations are like matter and questions can be changed from one level of closeness to another but even death cannot destroy or answer this question.
So why does the world ask us to define them?