Monday, September 8

It is you, It is me, 'It' is Love...


Door being opened

Deeps I am home.... Rish's baby is damn powerful, I mean it kicks your gut... The ride it gives you is just wow! Well my next buy would be the Porche now... This house was 2 years back, I can now afford a Porche!! Imagine what a marriage, that Jerk has a Jaguar and me a Porche, we'll rule the land at 140... :-) Oh! the fridge doesn't have juice, Damn!!!! I was supposed to get it, sorry I forgot! No no don't be benevolent I'll have water instead no need for the alcahol thing... Where the hell are you yaar... Not in the kitchen, not in the dining room, nor in the studies.............. or the bedrooms!!! Is this a game of hide and seek? 

'Here in the window, come to my room, I dont stay in your room dear, that is if you have noticed...' I'm sitting on the window open the curtains you'll find me there...'

What are you doing here? Come down you'll fall off!!!

'Stop acting like an Ido, there are grills, I am sitting on the marble platfor, this is like a small verandah, an aclove types... Little known to you, in such weather you will always find me here with my laptop...'

You sit here?!? Why? 

'The open sky, the view from here, the gentle breeze talks to me, being here I can feel the diversity in the world, it humbles me, and tells me that my world is just so small, there is so much saddness all around, so my problems very meagre, but my happiness unbounded, Its like the sense of freedom, not being tied down with any expectations, nothing to bog u down... To live our life as our own... The nature dictates its laws for its life, why can't we do so for ours? This ambience just completes me... ' smiling...

'You tell me, how was your drive with Rish? and don't tell me Mr. Andreas Dumaski now wants to buy a Ferrari or Porsche...'

Sometimes its like I don't know you, you are just so mysterious, there is always one layer of your persona waiting to be uncovered... You think this was the last, I have figured her out, and you spring a surprise!!! The sense of euphoria just evaporates to a feeling of unsettlement... You are unpredictable!!! and people have this opinion about me, yet you read me like a book, like you author my lines, instead of your posts!!! Why? How?

'Hmmmm that means you spent the entire drive talking to him about me... Why I wonder..?'

As if you don't know why...

'Why?'

AAAArrrrgggggggghhhhhh I hate het smartness, with just one word, end of all the arguments from my side, and now what? I am trapped in the black hole, called answer... Its a black hole because I can never answer fast enough, well enough, correct enough to pull me out of this... I keep getting caught and end up seeping in more and more, ony to be saved when the black hole creator decides to forgive my poor soul..

'God! Deeps you asked me a life changing question and now you feign innocence!'

Was it one?

I give up Deeps!!! You are crazily smart...  Yes it was one, very frankly speaking it hit home some truths...

'Want some juice?'

Theres none in the fridge... 'There are some on the dining table in the dining room...'

Coming back I don't know why I love you, or I didn't know it... All I know was earlier I thought I loved you because you understood me so well... You were there forever whenever I needed an alter ego... You respect me the person... but I have realised I should have loved you for just you, you are introspective, mature, sensible caring individual, ou temper my arrogance and make me seem as me... I don't know why I love you, but just looking at you, I know you are the one for me....

'By the Way you have quoted a part of what Rishi feels for me... close your mouth,guessing it wasnt the way I knew it, I know Rishi like the back of my hand, for half my life now, I can complete his thoughts...'

Why do you love me?

'I don't know all I know is that whether you understand me or not, whether I depend on you or not, the sense of fulfillment and completion I get from you, is worth a million sacrifices, a thousand lives, a hundred fears and a lifetime of happiness...I can see it in your eyes, your voice that you are the person I feel deeply linked with...I didn't know why I loved you, hence asked you this, though not expecting you to quote Rishi, or take it so seriously that you forget that today was Rishi's birthday... and you forgot to wish him...' smiled Deeps...

I'll wish Rishi right now... Deeps you know I love you right...

'Andy I may know it, I doubt you know it...'

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have few questions:- Why does it seem you have a lot of pain in your heart?
Why does this seem like your story, even though its not?
Why is the pain so evident in it? What does Deeps plan to do now, that she knows Andy doesn't really love her, because he doesn't realise it.?
Somebody with a traditional upbringing, brings such subtle nuances of love with its live-in form and physical nature...
You really deserve a lot of Kudos for this... Very well written and expressed...

Now madame Back to being a CA student, exams knocking on ur door...!!!

Voice said...

Finally the trilogy is complete

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So how one knows he/she loves someone one if he/she cannot say why?
Love is in moments for me...

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i saw shades of u in the characters

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u explained the details in a beautiful way

Anonymous said...

I read your three part trilogy and think that its very very attentively written, the reader feels as if he is overhearing a conversation, the details, you just didnt talk about what u had to say, but how a regular couple talks and behaves... It drove a few home truths for the reader as well, coz I went back home thinking why I loved my wife. Your post made me meet me...
Good Job done.!!

Anonymous said...

and again i didnt understand a word.. let me read again.

abhishek

Deepshikha said...

@ at:- Hai sweetie :- There's definitely no pain in my heart, you know I stay away from pain ;-)but on a serious note, I don't know, part of it is my understanding of how relationships go, and part my experiences of my world around me...
My upbringing hasn't been exactly very traditional, I have had the liberty to make my own opinions and judgments of whats right and wrong, hence such a liberal outlook :-)
Thank you dear...
My CA, well I am a little worried abt it, now that I am NOT studying... :)


@voice :- Yeah, finally complete.. :)... Its not only about living in the moments, its making those moments to live in, our relations are what we make of it...
Me :O where??


@anonymous :- I don't know you, yet thanks for such kind and warm appreciation, and there was no help from my words, you must love your wife just too much to keep falling in love with her again and again...:)


@Abi :- COMMENT, no excuses :P

Catastrophicguy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Like ppl have already said before.. The latter part of the post is Extremely well delivered.. The readers looses himself into the words only to realize the pain ur in..

Ur feelings described are somewat universal.. Maybe on another day and at a diff time i could have helped u find answers.. Bt today i'm pretty much into ur shoes myself.. Hope the black hole creator himself is reading this...

Tc..

Deepshikha said...

@ Calamity :- Thank You for your kind words... Unfortunately or fortunately there is no black hole creator in the picture... :) and the questions never seem to ebb, but feel free to discuss it out if you want :)..!!

Voice said...

where is the new blog